So, I wanted to talk to you today about something I feel is a very vital tool in our tool belts. Focus On What You Can Control and Let Go Of What You Can't! Learning to overcome past/current hurts, violations, being misunderstood by those closest to us, emotions of those around us, the current affairs of our world, etc. and learning how to not only take our power back but be able to continue to own our power, live happily, and love those around us.
It is vital to remove the stressors from our lives to remain and regain our health. Stress is all around us both perceived and real. Most people do not know how to handle, combat, or lesson the stress in their lives. Many don't even realize they are stressed.
A bit of transparency, I had to walk away from my family in 2016 during my healing journey because I needed no stress and understanding during this time so my body could recover. I received the complete opposite. My family was very toxic and unable to understand my needs. It was a very difficult season for me to walk away from my parents, mainly my mother. It felt like I was mourning their death. During this season the enemy really dug up a lot of old dirt as well (verbal, mental, emotional, and physical abuse). These same feelings can surface when you are betrayed by a friend, feel left out of a circle, are misunderstood, violated, etc.
There was purpose in this season as there always is and I heard Papa say very clearly to me, “They Know Not What They Do!” That was a game changer for me and put things into perspective. They weren’t capable of meeting me where I was because they were working out of their own bitterness. I also learned that “I was not defined by their inability to see my worth!” (Beautiful words shared with me by my mother-in-love!) This enabled me to grow in myself, to find myself, and to deeply love myself the way Papa loves me.
This season allowed me to grow in such a deep way. For the first time in my life I was able to take my power back, 100% be “ME”, no longer defined by what they thought of me, was able to put boundaries in place, and be in their company after healing and not be triggered by their poor behaviors. I found I was sad for them more than anything because they weren't willing to change.
The only thing we can control in our lives is ourselves! Through prayer, Papa can change the hearts of others, but we truly have no power in that arena.
Previously, in our journey off-grid I learned that when things were out of my control I was not allowing them to steal my joy though I had never been able to fully do that with people as I learned in the previous example. These changes have been life changing for me! I see many of my clients stuck in this place and it is definitely a practice to create a new habit of saying and acknowledging that “They Know Not What They Do” and also choosing to be a better version of ourselves each and every day and in some cases in the moment.
Mel Robbins also learned this process and shares this in her book The Let Them Theory. Mel Robbins uses the terms “Let Them” and “Let Me”. I highly recommend purchasing yourself a copy of her book and read it from cover to cover. Learning this process will change your life. It will take you from those days of deep despair and worry about what others think to a place of bliss and power.
The process of “Let Them” and “Let Me” is utilized in repetition when you feel your emotions being stirred up due to life's circumstances and by doing so you not only create a new habit but you also invoke your subconscious mind to take over. By doing so, this process will become a natural healthy part of your future.
Here are three additional processes you can put in place:
- Becoming in tune with your thoughts, feelings, and an awareness of habits that may not be serving you.
- Expressive writing is essential in this process to help you to fully overcome the deep hurts or offenses you may have experienced. When your thoughts keep circling back to the negative, grab a piece of paper and just write out your thoughts for 15 minutes. When you are finished writing, take the piece of paper and rip it up and throw it away or burn it. This is an amazing tool to help you remove these negatives rather than stuffing them or storing them.
- Focus on your gratitude. Once you have used the expressive writing you will be able to very easily focus and reflect on your gratitude. Record your gratitude daily or twice daily in a journal. You might check out my #RelentlesslyFaithful Gratitude & Prayer Journal.
Additionally, if you need further help in this process or have the need to overcome some deep hurts or trauma, I highly recommend getting on my calendar for a Private 1:1 Breathwork Session with me (three 1:1 sessions is truly where the magic happens) so we can start chipping away and working on those experiences that may be holding you back.
We've been discussing this live on my YouTube channel on Wednesday mornings at 9 am PST. I would love for you to join me live each week and subscribe to my channel. We also break this down even further in my live Zoom each Wednesday at the same time in my Special Access Community. I go live on YouTube & Zoom at the same time and 30 minutes in I end the YouTube and continue face-to-face with my community where I answer their questions, talk a bit more intimately, and take things so much deeper on the topic for the week.
So often, we allow the thoughts in our heads, people, and current events to steal our joy (enemy) and leave us in a heap in the corner. Progressing from this place and learning the skills necessary to overcome this is truly life-giving and when you learn how to “Focus On What You Can Control and Let Go Of What You Can't”, you will thrive!
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Purchase your copy of The Let Them Theory!
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Get on my calendar for a Private 1:1 Breathwork Session (3 Pack)